Starting a new routine...

 I taught a lesson in relief society about journaling. It made me very conscious of how important it is to write down my thoughts. Today is the day before Thanksgiving 2018. I am so very grateful for the many blessings that God gives me.  The devastation in Paradise California with the fires and of other places makes me realize that blessings are not just having a beautiful home or having a comfortable way of living but blessings are the ability to have God in my life. Blessings are the ability to feel joy even when heart ache is present.

I’m reading the Book of Mormon in 90 days because President Nelson has asked that of us. I’m underlining each reference to Christ within the Book of Mormon. It has given me a different perspective on the Book of Mormon.  It’s shown me that Christ is in the pages, every page of the book and that it is literally a second witness of his life and the things that we should do to make sure he is within our lives.  This knowledge truly brings me joy.

Wow! One amazing year has passed!

Looking back over the last year, I realize I need to document the amazing journey I have undertaken.  Knowing there were too many events that had God's hand as part of the journey, I want to publicly share my journey.

In January, 2013, I found it difficult to walk more than 25 feet without severe pain in my knees.  The knees started to deteriorate during the time I sat with Jennie in the hospital, in 2010.  Swelling and pain were my companions for those three long years.  January 2013 had me realizing I needed to do something to keep healthy.  A thought kept coming to my mind that I should try running.  Mentioning my complete lack of running skills here, I laughed the thought away.  But time and again, it reentered my thoughts until finally I decided to try it.  I had worked with a personal trainer once who mentioned that if I ever decided to learn how to run, that I should run 'toe-to-heel'.  Not really listening when she mentioned it, because of course I DIDN'T run, but as the running thoughts kept persisting, so did the thought reenter my mind that I should run 'toe-to-heel'. 

Looking for an app that I could use to help me figure out how to run, I found C25k (couch to 5k).  That sounded particularly appropriate for my cause.  I downloaded the app and saw that in 8 weeks I would be able to run 3.1 miles in 30 minutes.  Really never expecting to achieve that goal, I started my first day of running.  

Feeling like I was running tippy-toed, but determined, I ran 3 days that week, just as the app said to.  Brad would see me go and laugh at my form! :(  But still undeterred, I pushed on.  

The second week, I went to San Diego with my sisters for our reunion and found myself encouraging them to join me.  We tackled running on the beach (which at the time I was running 90 seconds, walking 120) and I started to find a pace that worked for me.  My sisters were my cheerleaders and my supporters.  I don't know if they thought I would be able to do it either, but my third week, after coming home, I stuck the course.  All through these weeks, a very strong inclination and persistence to continue this routine were my companions.  Usually, January, February and March are tough depression months, with hibernation my closest friend.  But, I don't remember having as much of an issue with it, and I wasn't stopped from working on my goal.  

I still couldn't walk 25 feet, but I could run them!  It baffled many a person's mind to think of me being able to run.  Mine was definitely included in that mindset.  I found friends that soon wanted to join me but at my 8 week mark, by myself on the trail, I ran 3.1 miles.  

I was exhilarated and shocked!

Getting a group of ladies together, we started running at the levy on Folsom Lake, near our homes.  I wasn't very fast, and at first still walk/ran.  But eventually, I ran 4 miles each day.  I would limp to the trail, and start out slow, but gradually warmed my poor knees up and made a decent showing.

I had to get cortisone shots every 3 months to maintain any semblance of walking, but I felt good running.  

After getting the cortisone in August, I realized my left knee (actually my better knee) was really swollen and realized the shot didn't take.  I could run but it was getting very hard to get around on foot.  In September, I went to the doctor and he said he wanted me to wait until I was 65.  I went home really discouraged.  

Brad and I discussed it and I became much more adamant that I needed to get them done, and if I was going to get replacements, I wanted to do them at the same time.  

By this time, I had slowed the running because the weather was changing, and my energy was lagging.  The knees were really wearing on me.  Convincing Brad to accompany me to my next doctor appointment, ensuring that I would have the support behind me for the surgery, the first week of October found us convincing the doctor that I would have surgery.  

I called the appointment clerk as soon as I got home, scheduled the surgery five weeks from then and continued to run up until two weeks before.  I took a picture of my knees the day before surgery, to have a memory of what unscarred knees looked like.

This is the day after surgery, November 23, 2013  They were looking a bit swollen.  Understatement!

This is the day I went home.  Still looking pretty scary!

It took some time, but I found I recuperated fairly fast and found my strength quickly returning.

Finding myself surprised that I actually had done the surgery, I started planning my return to running.  The doctor told me I could do anything BUT run.  I talked to him about toe-to-heel running and he hadn't ever heard of it.  If you have done this type of running, you realize the knees are directly under the body when you contact instead of stretched ahead of you, allowing the torque to be on the quad, not the knee.  I felt it was doable, without much concern for wear and tear.  In the back of my mind was always a little niggling thought that maybe I shouldn't, but I needed to get back into exercising.  

I was riding a stationary bike (which I hated but could see the benefit), doing stair exercises (OUCH) and trying to be more mobile.  January 2014 came and time for the sister reunion - seven weeks after surgery.  I was probably a bit ambitious to take that on without any help.  I traveled alone, so had a wheelchair attendant take me to and from the plane.  I sat on the bulkhead seats for the space.  Determination was feeling the pain!

I tried to keep up with the sisters: stairs, swimming, bike, walking.  Don't know how I made it through that week, but I did!  The swimming definitely helped.  

Got home, and started walking with my gang at the lake.  I tried to run as well but one day the very direct thought came to my mind "What are you trying to prove?"  I slowed down and started walking, realizing for the first time, that the running had been a prompting from God.  No one knew what I could do except him.  

A new beginning...

I’m going to do as I told my seminary kids yesterday to do and that is to start journaling again.   This blog I stopped 2014.  It’s been 4 years! I can’t believe it and I want to start again and hope that I can help my descendants understand who I am, and why I am who I am.  Here goes to a new beginning and hopefully finding joy!

'Must do's' push out 'want to's'

After I started the challenge of writing a book in a month, I realized the list to get ready before my surgery was waaaayyy too long to allow me the pleasure of writing this new book about a new adventure.  I kind of got waylaid in the story, as it turned a corner I hadn't planned on; which in turn set writer's block into play.

I also discovered that I needed to be so productive getting Christmas complete in 3 weeks, presents bought and wrapped, Christmas setup completed, all implements to help me cope with the imminent surgery procured, that time was not going to allow me the luxury of devoting so much of it to writing.

The two books that are waiting in the wings that are books two and three in the Coming Home Trilogy are buzzing around in my brain, plus this new project I have started made me think that there needs to be some priorities set and time-management used (which to any of those who know me well, is not one of my forte's).

I have looked into the future and realize I have a 12 day diversion from my regular activities when Brad and I go on a long business trip.  Brad has 3 meetings that meet in a similar latitude, and we are able to combine into one long trip.

We start by flying into St. Maarten in the Caribbean, stay for 5 days, flying to Puerto Rico for 2 days, flying into Miami for 5 days then flying home.

The St. Maarten part will be very difficult to really devote to writing (due of course to the amazing turquoise water, the call of the snorkel, the need to be out on the 'beach',  but the Miami part could be a very productive time.  I am also going to be spending time with my sisters in San Diego in January, which could allow a little bit of writing to creep into a time-slot.  I can definitely tell that 'writing' is going to have to be planned and calendared to make room in my schedule.

I've also been going around and around with myself, concerning the time for writing versus the time for other beneficial activities.  It is a conundrum.

Who knew the debate between writing or not writing would end up part of the 'adversity in all things' encounter.  I imagine I will make sure there are enough spiritual outputs to balance the writing outputs, that will manage the time into something I'll agree with.  I'll make sure God is part of my decision, as he is the master planner in my life.

The healing process of my knee drama is unfolding.  It definitely became a 'must-do' and now the importance of flexibility is the adversity in my life as I speak.  I have about 5 1/2 weeks to make sure I have 100% of what I want it to be like for the rest of my life.  Not an easy realization.  So life hands you 'adversity' in all phases of your road.  Don't ever take a blessing for granted because not far behind is a test of your mettle you just learned.

I love my life.  I love that I can CHOOSE.  I choose to serve God and Jesus Christ, and choose to try to have good influences on others through my 'adversities'.  I pray I will achieve those goals and achieving them will bring me JOY.

Its National write a 50,000 word book in 30 days month!  I'm putting the trilogy on the bookshelf for a month, and getting my writing gloves on!  I already have a book in mind, with outline all worked out!  Its been burning at me to get at it so its a perfect time!  I'll have to work fast to get it done by Nov 22nd when I have surgery.  Or at least very close to being done.  I can wrap up the last few days.  Here is the title and a picture that will be the cover.  Write ON!!

FROM HERE TO YESTERDAY

http://nanowrimo.org/participants/mimaadre

Its PUBLISHED!!

How can you feel more excited than getting notice from your publisher that your book has gone live on Amazon?

As I have tried to reinvent myself as my children have grown, especially after I lost my sweet Jennie three-and-a-half years ago, writing has taken on a life of its own.  I have learned SO much.  I learned that I didn't retain as much English theory as I should have!  I learned that I have good ideas and that the protagonist takes on a life of their own as you write.  I have learned that some days are just not writing days! And I have realized that authors who support themselves with their books are on the amazing scale.  I'm not sure I have it in me to write everyday, so I am SOOOOO grateful I have a wonderful husband who supports my crazy ideas, works so hard so I can be creative and who loves me no matter if I publish or not!

I am BLESSED which brings such JOY.

http://www.amazon.com/Home-Built-Coming-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B00GB2UA24/

Final proof finished! ready to PUBLISH!

Just finished reading my book for the last time, from front to back.  I still like it!  Publisher just received the final draft.  It won't be long!  Yippee!  Writing has definitely brought me JOY!

A trilogy?? I had no idea!!

I'm here in San Marcos Texas after being in San Antonio for the last couple of days. I've been able to get a good start on the sequel to "The Home That Built Me", "When the Heart Goes Home".   What I didn't expect to happen is I've written myself into a trilogy!  

Writing is so compelling to me. I've always had an easy way with words but until a few years ago never saw myself writing a book. I've not been a great storyteller like my husband is or had lots of writing classes. I've never felt it was my focus of life. I have READ thousands of books of many different varieties. I know when I love the turn of a phrase some author has penned and I know when I'm disgusted by the triteness of another. 

Writing a book became an interest the year before my mother passed away in 2008. I finished my first book right before she passed away and she was able to read it. She said she liked it!  As I read that first manuscript I cringe, realizing my skills have definitely improved since then. That book has NOT been published. There will be a solid rewrite before that book sees any publishing format. 

What I have learned is when you develop a sub-character, that character screams at you to finish their story. So a trilogy should take care of that. I haven't got a name for that book yet but I'm sure the story will start wedging its way into my head and demanding attention. Don't worry!  I'll get there. 

Writing on!!

Windows to a story...

I have been working with my publisher trying to create a different cover (didn't have the "rights" to the picture in the last post).  So sad... but found another that I like in a different way.

It is interesting that the front of the book is almost as important to me as what is inside the book.  I felt connected to the picture before and find I have a connection to this new one.  I am sure it will do what I need it to do.  Tell a little of the story through the windows of the readers eyes.  

As I have been reviewing this book, it has spurred thoughts and ideas for my sequel.  So yesterday I started the planning stages and found myself writing the prologue today!  My mind is racing with details.  I already like the way it's headed.  Sometimes you really don't know what will happen until you start writing.  That is the beauty of fiction--you are just as surprised as the readers!

Hopefully my readers (whoever you might be!) will agree.  On to Chapter one!

I'm pretty happy that the publisher Short On Time Books has agreed to publish my newest book.  The whole process of figuring out what you want to write--scoping it out, drawing diagrams and outlines, finding the soul of the protagonist--is a very rewarding experience.  You really learn how to enter into someone's mind (even if the person is one you created!) and their experiences take you places you haven't been before.  I have always heard write what you know, and have found that has led me in many ways.  I'm anxious to branch out, discover what other things might be out in the world for me to discover, and so I am starting the sequel next week.  The first book I ever wrote is still sitting in my computer, unfulfilled!  I have  quite a bit of rewriting to do to make the story come alive.  After the sequel, I think I will shake off the cobwebs (4 years isn't so terribly long) and see if I can conquer it.  I'm stepping on the path of my alternative journey!  Hope it takes the right turns!  Joyful days ahead!

Did I teach you the things you should know?

My dear children:

As I listened to the special Missionary Broadcast yesterday, I heard one of the speakers talk about how mother's are the teachers of their children.  I felt a strong impression that I should write a letter to you, defining what I believe I taught and how I obtained the knowledge to teach you those things.

I am not a "brainiac".    I have siblings that are very smart, but I think I probably have some learning issues that made it so I didn't stretch as far as they did.  Maybe I could have, but I didn't.  I was successful in school, didn't feel that I was dumb, usually tried things I didn't know how to do and accepted myself without too much fanfare.

My parents instructed me concerning life skills, responsibilities, and gospel principles.  They taught me how to work, how to play, to love family, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  I, in turn, have tried to do the same.  I would like to tell you what I tried to teach you and only you will know if I succeeded.

I believe that through my example I showed you that temple marriage is important and is not something to discard.

The eternal nature of our spirits is so defined within the walls of the temple.  The population of the earth that I know about care more about today and what is owed them.  I believe that the temple teaches the principles of gratitude, service, and selflessness.  Through my life I had many opportunities to "dissolve" something that was hard.  I obeyed many impressions to stick with the course, love as I go and accept the path God has given to me to work through.

As you know, my life has had many bumps and bruises, some severe.  I have been very fortunate that God chose to give me gifts of the spirit that encouraged me to serve, to be patient, to love through adversity, and to ask God to give me the strength to continue forward.  He has responded so many times, affirming my beliefs and trust in Him.  I have learned that nothing is more important than maintaining an eternal family unit.  I hope I passed this on to you.

I chose to serve as often and as much as I was called or impressed to do.

Through all of my years of marriage, service has been a hallmark of your dads and my marriage.  If we could help, we were in the car helping, be it family members, church members, neighbors or people who we didn't know.  We have never been afraid of stretching our necks out to do something different for someone else.  Your dad is really good at this.  He also helped me to solidify my own ability to serve into something worthwhile.  I appreciate this from him and hope we have passed this on to you.

I read the scriptures everyday and hope I have shown you how important it is to stay in contact with the words of Christ and his followers which in turn allows the Holy Ghost to be my companion throughout my day.

I probably didn't do a very good job of this when you were young, but I hope that I have showed you as adults how important the scriptures are to me.  I have learned so much through reading the Book of Mormon, most of which wasn't written on the pages of the book.  There are many opportunities for personal revelation as you read the Book of Mormon.  God gave us this book to help us to see the patterns that mortals or humankind have.  Only through using our spiritual strengths to overcome the human foibles, are we allowed to really see what we are made of.  Humankind is influenced by Satan in huge degrees.  I see more every day how he has been "loosed" into the world and we must guard ourselves from his influences every day by reading His words, talking to Him about them in prayer, and immersing ourselves in spiritual activities so that the spirit of the Holy Ghost can manifest those truths unto us.

I don't watch much TV and in the past year have really slowed down.  I see so much of Satan's influence in the shows that are "every day TV." They start out clean and intriguing, making you obsessed about watching them, then very gradually adding other components until you are watching filth and abusing your spiritual side until you are numb to satan's ploys.  If I can offer any advice that may be something I haven't taught you in the past, is that you really look and listen to the shows you are watching and ask yourself if the Holy Ghost can be your guide as you watch.  If you find there are things in the show that take Him away, you might want to consider changing your choices of entertainment.

I loved you through hardships and good times.

I hope I showed you that no matter what you do, you are my children and I love you.  Sometimes I may not appreciate choices you make, but never believe that I would take my love from you.  You are the children of my soul and there is not anyone or thing more important to me.

I have stretched my wings in many different ways, to explore, expand and create a new me. 

I have never been reticent about diving into new projects, even when I didn't know how.  I watched my mother as I grew up do many of those things I now do, and watched my dad work hard to support us and encourage us.

Sewing, baking, writing, wall-papering, singing, directing, composing, running, starting new food plans, etc. etc.  Through the years I have been able to make myself over many times and I hope I have showed you that it might be hard, but its worth trying new things.  Just because my mother showed me, didn't mean I was taught how to do all those things.  But she did show me it was okay to try to do things, and that I hope I have passed on to you.

Life is a challenge but can be so fun and interesting.  Even with depression for most of my life, I rarely let myself not try something new.  I have no background in writing, may not ever sell a novel, but I really wanted to stretch and TRY.  If I have taught you that its ok to fail if you try, and that you just try something more, then I feel rewarded for my efforts.

The most important thing I hope I have passed on to you is my love towards my Heavenly Father.  

If I succeeded in letting you know how important He is to me, then my life has been validated.  He is the ultimate goal I have, to be restored to His kingdom, with obedience and love, having washed my sins clean in Christ's flesh and blood.  I  want to reaffirm my love on a weekly basis as I renew my covenants with him in Sacrament Meeting and attend the temple weekly.  There is not other place or goal that is more important than this and I hope I have shown and taught you this.  I also pray that you take that example and strive to bring it to your own lives.

I cherish you and love you.  Our missing member of the quartet is waiting for all of us to come back home.  I hope we don't disappoint her or our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

I pray for you every day.  Your names are very often in the temple prayer rolls.  I hope you feel the power of those prayers.

Love, Mom.

The book is FINISHED!

I think I started this book about this time last year, during a lull in writing Jen's book. I really started writing though after I finished publishing the other book in November. I have a sequel that is just bugging me to start already. First though, I'm going to a quilt convention in Reno this weekend. Brandy has decided that she wants to come so we will have a great time "Hanin" together. I have about 5 quilts in the pipeline, but instead of doing them constantly I think I'll space them out...maybe one every other week??? :-) What can I say, writing books and making quilts brings me JOY.

Headed to Vegas (blah) but its writing time! I will find JOY!

Brad and I are headed to a work meeting in Vegas soon and I am going to take the time to maybe finish my 2nd book. I have been so preoccupied with sewing, running and gardening that I have put the book on hiatus. But it is time to revisit and find out where and how my protagonist finds her way home. The book is titled "The home that built me". Home being more than the edifice that she lives in, more like the place that grounds her and helps her find who she is. It is quite an interesting endeavor to figure out how writing happens. I think of an idea and as it shapes and moves through the dialogue, the characters take me a different direction. I'm looking forward to seeing this project through. I'm grateful for the opportunities to explore this other side of me and for Jennie's life which screamed to be written, which in turn gave me the impetus to write a book. I'm loving this journey....it brings me JOY!

We visited the temple in Sacramento with grandkids.

Brook and Cayden wanted to go to see the temple so we drove down on Sunday afternoon and walked around the temple. Brook sang and danced about and Cayden told us he wants to come back to do baptisms for the dead. I visit the temple each week and love the temple. It gives me great JOY.

Master Gardener finally finding my way in the "way-over-ready to be revised" yard brings me JOY

I determined last fall that I wanted to get my yard cleaned up. We had 7 large poplar trees removed because they were dying and overgrown and getting close to power lines. So our yard was ready to be made over. I have had many hours sweating and working in the yard and almost have it complete. A few more palm trees and then it will be done. I love walking around my yard and know that it is my palate of love. Gardening brings me JOY.

Building quilts brings satisfaction, love and JOY

I am mopping up the last of the quilting project for my two sons & daughters-in-law. I just have to finish the back of the last two shams an d will have made 3 pillows, 2 shams and a quilt for each set. I was able to take a long-arm quilting class and then quilt each quilt that way. It is so fun to learn a new skill as well as know that the complete project was done by (my daughters-in-law helped cut and sew some) me. Again, I have to give kudos to my mother for her inspiring life that showed me these projects are important. I love them and have 4 more quilts in the pipeline!

Running by this lake brings PURE JOY!

Christmas with family is Joyful!

It was so fun to watch Cayden and Brooklyn open their gifts. They were both thrilled with their gifts (Yesterday Cayden took his first step into peeking at the gifts and was caught!). Guess he is just like the other boys in my family....total sneaks but they didn't get caught. The expressions on their faces and their exclamations as they looked at each new thing, and then later as they played was so delightful! They have gone to their dads tonight, so things are quiet on the homefront. I appreciate Andrea and Justin allowing us to share in the joy of children and Christmas. I also want to express the joy I feel as I contemplate the birth of the Savior so very long ago, and the steps he took to ensure the chance that I can return to my Father in Heaven. I thank Him every day and that knowledge brings me JOY.

It was Cayden's class Christmas program last night. They memorized How the Grinch Stole Christmas and they did an amazing job! They also sang the songs and other Christmas songs. We sat behind Adam and his sisters Marianne and Emily, so we were privileged to watch Brooklyn's reactions to it all. She flitted between the rows, hugging and telling me she loved me! Love that little girl! Cayden worked so hard at speaking slow and clear. He did such a good job. Watching the changes as these sweet children grow brings unlimited amounts of Joy. :)

In tune while out of tune...JOYFUL???

Had a great time yesterday performing with the Chime Choir and Cherie at the Creche. It was a very interesting experience! I had a severe ear infection that created a distortion in the sound. Like having two speakers, with the left one blaring each note 1/4 note flat! It was the hardest performance ever! The piano sounded like Brook was sitting by her side playing the next note to every note she played which created a jumble of horrible sounding music. Cherie, with her loud, beautiful voice was the only thing that cracked the speaker and she was in tune. I couldn't even tell if I was playing the right chime because it sounded like we were ALL playing the wrong ones! Made me much more grateful for working ears and the beauty that we can listen to. So glad I don't have to always hear those terrible combinations of sound! The real stuff is pure JOY!