Starting a new routine...

 I taught a lesson in relief society about journaling. It made me very conscious of how important it is to write down my thoughts. Today is the day before Thanksgiving 2018. I am so very grateful for the many blessings that God gives me.  The devastation in Paradise California with the fires and of other places makes me realize that blessings are not just having a beautiful home or having a comfortable way of living but blessings are the ability to have God in my life. Blessings are the ability to feel joy even when heart ache is present.

I’m reading the Book of Mormon in 90 days because President Nelson has asked that of us. I’m underlining each reference to Christ within the Book of Mormon. It has given me a different perspective on the Book of Mormon.  It’s shown me that Christ is in the pages, every page of the book and that it is literally a second witness of his life and the things that we should do to make sure he is within our lives.  This knowledge truly brings me joy.

Wow! One amazing year has passed!

Looking back over the last year, I realize I need to document the amazing journey I have undertaken.  Knowing there were too many events that had God's hand as part of the journey, I want to publicly share my journey.

In January, 2013, I found it difficult to walk more than 25 feet without severe pain in my knees.  The knees started to deteriorate during the time I sat with Jennie in the hospital, in 2010.  Swelling and pain were my companions for those three long years.  January 2013 had me realizing I needed to do something to keep healthy.  A thought kept coming to my mind that I should try running.  Mentioning my complete lack of running skills here, I laughed the thought away.  But time and again, it reentered my thoughts until finally I decided to try it.  I had worked with a personal trainer once who mentioned that if I ever decided to learn how to run, that I should run 'toe-to-heel'.  Not really listening when she mentioned it, because of course I DIDN'T run, but as the running thoughts kept persisting, so did the thought reenter my mind that I should run 'toe-to-heel'. 

Looking for an app that I could use to help me figure out how to run, I found C25k (couch to 5k).  That sounded particularly appropriate for my cause.  I downloaded the app and saw that in 8 weeks I would be able to run 3.1 miles in 30 minutes.  Really never expecting to achieve that goal, I started my first day of running.  

Feeling like I was running tippy-toed, but determined, I ran 3 days that week, just as the app said to.  Brad would see me go and laugh at my form! :(  But still undeterred, I pushed on.  

The second week, I went to San Diego with my sisters for our reunion and found myself encouraging them to join me.  We tackled running on the beach (which at the time I was running 90 seconds, walking 120) and I started to find a pace that worked for me.  My sisters were my cheerleaders and my supporters.  I don't know if they thought I would be able to do it either, but my third week, after coming home, I stuck the course.  All through these weeks, a very strong inclination and persistence to continue this routine were my companions.  Usually, January, February and March are tough depression months, with hibernation my closest friend.  But, I don't remember having as much of an issue with it, and I wasn't stopped from working on my goal.  

I still couldn't walk 25 feet, but I could run them!  It baffled many a person's mind to think of me being able to run.  Mine was definitely included in that mindset.  I found friends that soon wanted to join me but at my 8 week mark, by myself on the trail, I ran 3.1 miles.  

I was exhilarated and shocked!

Getting a group of ladies together, we started running at the levy on Folsom Lake, near our homes.  I wasn't very fast, and at first still walk/ran.  But eventually, I ran 4 miles each day.  I would limp to the trail, and start out slow, but gradually warmed my poor knees up and made a decent showing.

I had to get cortisone shots every 3 months to maintain any semblance of walking, but I felt good running.  

After getting the cortisone in August, I realized my left knee (actually my better knee) was really swollen and realized the shot didn't take.  I could run but it was getting very hard to get around on foot.  In September, I went to the doctor and he said he wanted me to wait until I was 65.  I went home really discouraged.  

Brad and I discussed it and I became much more adamant that I needed to get them done, and if I was going to get replacements, I wanted to do them at the same time.  

By this time, I had slowed the running because the weather was changing, and my energy was lagging.  The knees were really wearing on me.  Convincing Brad to accompany me to my next doctor appointment, ensuring that I would have the support behind me for the surgery, the first week of October found us convincing the doctor that I would have surgery.  

I called the appointment clerk as soon as I got home, scheduled the surgery five weeks from then and continued to run up until two weeks before.  I took a picture of my knees the day before surgery, to have a memory of what unscarred knees looked like.

This is the day after surgery, November 23, 2013  They were looking a bit swollen.  Understatement!

This is the day I went home.  Still looking pretty scary!

It took some time, but I found I recuperated fairly fast and found my strength quickly returning.

Finding myself surprised that I actually had done the surgery, I started planning my return to running.  The doctor told me I could do anything BUT run.  I talked to him about toe-to-heel running and he hadn't ever heard of it.  If you have done this type of running, you realize the knees are directly under the body when you contact instead of stretched ahead of you, allowing the torque to be on the quad, not the knee.  I felt it was doable, without much concern for wear and tear.  In the back of my mind was always a little niggling thought that maybe I shouldn't, but I needed to get back into exercising.  

I was riding a stationary bike (which I hated but could see the benefit), doing stair exercises (OUCH) and trying to be more mobile.  January 2014 came and time for the sister reunion - seven weeks after surgery.  I was probably a bit ambitious to take that on without any help.  I traveled alone, so had a wheelchair attendant take me to and from the plane.  I sat on the bulkhead seats for the space.  Determination was feeling the pain!

I tried to keep up with the sisters: stairs, swimming, bike, walking.  Don't know how I made it through that week, but I did!  The swimming definitely helped.  

Got home, and started walking with my gang at the lake.  I tried to run as well but one day the very direct thought came to my mind "What are you trying to prove?"  I slowed down and started walking, realizing for the first time, that the running had been a prompting from God.  No one knew what I could do except him.  

A new beginning...

I’m going to do as I told my seminary kids yesterday to do and that is to start journaling again.   This blog I stopped 2014.  It’s been 4 years! I can’t believe it and I want to start again and hope that I can help my descendants understand who I am, and why I am who I am.  Here goes to a new beginning and hopefully finding joy!